


A Year and a Half Later

by GhostGirl1994



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Holtzbert - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-06-22 12:05:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15581592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostGirl1994/pseuds/GhostGirl1994
Summary: After sustaining a head injury during a bust, Holtzmann wakes up to find that none of her fellow Ghostbusters are anywhere in sight... in fact she's all alone... okay, she isn't even in a hospital room.





	1. Nothing makes sense

They were struggling. The bust was going horribly wrong. Patty had food poisoning and was currently tucked away in her bed, whilst she recovered. That left Abby, Holtz and Erin trying to fight off an angry Class 6 entity with a thirst for vengeance, without their fourth member.

“We need more power, he’s breaking free,” Erin shouted as they struggled to hold the seven foot scowling ghost in their proton beams. 

“I agree with you sweet cheeks… but this is all we have,” Holtz yelled. “Why am I yelling, there’s no noise, the room is deathly silent-”

“Holtz, stop flirting and get the trap,” Abby warned, stopping Holtz from going off on a tangent.

Holtz bent slideways, attempting to reach the trap without breaking her hold on their ghostly friend but before she could reach it, she suddenly found herself flying across the room. The next few moments were a blur. 

She vaguely remembered seeing the ghost flying out through the window. She felt something warm trickling down her forehead. Amused, she raised a hand to wipe the substance away.

Ha, looks like I’m the one to get the old ectoplasm this time. Maybe Erin will be so happy that it’s not her getting slimed, that she’ll finally agree to that date.

She removed her hand. Laughing to herself… but instead of the slimy substance. Her hand had turned red, completely red. Blood. So much blood. 

No, it can’t be blood. I feel fine, nothing hurts. Blood makes no sense-

But, before she could fully finish her thought, the whole room took an alarming jolt and then appeared to tip forwards onto its side.

Yep, I definitely have a serious head injury. I must be in shock… that’s why it doesn’t hurt. 

Someone was screaming in the background but it was muffled and distant. Two sets of footsteps were pounding along the floor. 

Erin. Erin. Beautiful Erin. I love Erin, I want to tell Erin how much I love her. 

That thought circled around and around inside her head, as she slowly drifted off into unconsciousness. 

\---

Holtz slowly starts to open her eyes. For a second she has no idea who or where she is. She’s not even fully aware that she’s a flesh and blood person. She’s simply being. Then in a sudden rush everything comes back to her. She’s Holtzmann. Jillian Holtzmann. She’s a Ghostbuster. She’s in love with Erin Gilbert. She had an accident. There was blood.

She sits up sharply, searching the room for the object of her affections but Erin isn’t there. In fact, no one’s there. She’s in an empty room. Her shoulders slump forward. She thought her family would be there. She would be sitting at Erin’s side refusing to leave if it was the other way around. 

She brings her hand up to feel the extent of the damage, expecting the feel a tightly wrapped bandage but there’s nothing there. She moves her hand further up and into her hair. It comes to stop on a piece of skin slightly smoother than the rest, which seems to have an narrow border around it, where no hair is growing. 

That’s the moment that panic starts to fill Jillian’s lungs. She doesn’t understand. This is an old injury but it makes no sense because it shouldn’t have healed that quickly. Her mind races, as her throat tightens up, feeling like it’s closing in on itself.

Maybe that’s just a different scar, an old one.

But even as she thinks that thought, she realises how stupid that is. She’s never had a head injury before this. She’s pretty sure she’d remember if she did. That’s when it finally dawns on her. She’s not inside a hospital. This is her room, in her apartment building.

Grabbing her phone from by the side of her bed she does the first thing she can think of that she normally does in a crisis. Phone Abby.

Abby picks up on the tenth ring, Holtz counts.

“Hi, Abby, Listen-“

“Morning Holtz,” Abby’s voice echoes through the phone line, she’s not good at reading emotions but she’s sure she almost sounds wary.

“Abby, I don’t understand… the bust… my injury… It healed so quickly… oh, am I a vampire now, that would be so cool.”

“Right, let’s get this over quickly. I have a class to teach-“

“A class, no, Abby. We’re the Ghostbuster we fight ghosts… we don’t teach-”

“It’s August 5th 2018-“

“… and our president is a plant. Good one, Abs.”

“A year and a half ago you sustained a serious head injury whilst on a bust. It left you with a rare form of amnesia. Your memories are unaltered from before the incident but since then you’re only able to retain information for a day. When you go to sleep your memory of the day is wiped clean. The Ghostbusters ended a year ago. I’m now a lecturer at NYU…” Abby trails off.

It’s almost like she’s reading a prepared speech off a piece of paper, and now all the words are used up and she doesn’t know what to say. Holtz glances around the room. She doesn’t know what to think, how to even begin to process. The Ghostbusters have ended? She doesn’t remember a year and a half of her life? This has to be some sick joke or prank.

“Haha, very funny, Abs. You got me. Now, I’m thinking about working on a new version of the proton packs with more-“

“Patty now lives in Chicago, she’s running a business helping people trace their family history with her fiancé-“

“Patty, fiancé? What? Abby, we’re the Ghostbusters and I thought I was the one who hit my head-“

“Erin is teaching theoretical particle physics at NC State-“

“Don’t be silly, Abs. Erin lives here in New York City. We all do-“

“Look, Holtz, I’m going to be late for my first class-“

“Can I come over to your place for a bit? Abs, we can get bagels before we head to the firehouse.”

There’s a long pause on the other end of the line. Finally Abby lets out a long sigh but it’s not the exasperated, teasing one she’s used to. This one is as if Abby is trying to free herself of some large weight.

“I think it’s best if we no longer have any contact.”

“Abs, that’s not funny… you know that’s not funny-”

The line is completely quiet and for a moment Holtz thinks she’s been cut off. Then…

“Goodbye, Holtz. Look after yourself.”

There’s a scuffling sound and then a quick beep. This time she really has been cut off. She slowly removes her phone from her ear and just stares at it, in her hand, for a few seconds. Abby, her long standing friend, hell for multiple years her only friend. The first non-machine, flesh and blood human she had connected with. Her family. Abby Yates no longer wanted Jillian Holtzmann to contact her. They were no longer friends. 

She felt a warm feeling rise up inside her throat and blinked away a few tears desperately threatening to fall. She wouldn’t cry. This had to be some misunderstanding. The idea was just too painful. Yes, she would contact Patty.

“Hey, Patty-Cake!”

“Hey, Holtzy. No offense, Baby, but can this wait? I’ve got a wedding rehearsal in 10 minutes and everything has got to be perfect for Patty’s big day.”

“I can’t wait to see you in your dress Patty-Cake, I bet you’ll look smoking.”

There’s a brief pause on the other end of the line. Patty decides that blunt is really the only approach to this.

“Look, Holtzy, you’re not invited. It’s a small wedding and we haven’t even seen each other in over a year.” Patty hears a quiet snuffling on the end of the line and instantly feels guilty. “Maybe we can have a little Ghostbusters reunion at the end of the year?”

“Abby doesn’t want to see me anymore-“

“Holtzy, Patty’s got to go get her fabulous ass inside a very expensive dress. Look after yourself, Baby.”

“Sure, bye Patty. Good Luck with the wedding-“

… but she doesn’t get to properly wish her, her congratulations because once again the phone line goes dead. 

So, it’s true then. In a space of an evening, I’ve lost my whole family, my career and everything I’ve ever come to care about.

… but it hasn’t been an evening. It’s been almost two years. An almost two years that she doesn’t even remember. She’s pretty sure that she must have died from that head injury and now she’s in hell because none of this could be real… but it is real… this is stone cold reality.

She glances down at her phone for a third time, clicking on the name Er-Bear. Holtz’s finger hovers over the call button for a few seconds but she can’t bring herself to do it. The thought of Erin rejecting her too is just too much for her mind to handle. If Erin does indeed turn her away then she really has lost everything. Whilst that number is still left undialed, there is still a small ray of hope.

She looks up and stares at her olive green wall, not knowing what to do with herself, before, all of a sudden she leaps to her feet. No, she needs to see Erin. She needs to be near Erin. She doesn’t care if it’s a stupid, impulsive idea that could end in possible heart-break. She needs to try.

That’s how eight hours later Jillian Holtzmann finds herself standing in the arrivals terminal of Raleigh-Durham Airport. As soon as she had left her apartment, she withdrew the last of the money in her bank account. (Apparently, another suck-y side-effect to amnesia was having no money).

She then made her way to the airport, checking the date on a newspaper multiple times, in a trash can. It really was 2018. 

When she reached the airport, she learnt that large gestures of desperation are nothing like they are in the movies. You can’t just turn up and expect a seat to be available on the next flight, that will make a prompt departure. You have to wait around for 5 or so hours… but now she’s here, in North Carolina, and soon she will see Erin and everything will be okay. Time for her to take a cab over to NC State.

The cab ride went quickly… too quickly and every second that passed led Jillian to regret her impulsive choice. What if Erin didn’t want to see her. Erin probably didn’t want to see her. The Ghostbusters were no more, everyone had moved on with their lives and Holtz wasn’t part of them anymore. Patty and Abby had both made that very clear. 

She pays the driver and takes a tentative step onto the sidewalk, then another… and another. Eventually she has walked a whole block and she is near one of the campus’ entrances. Just then, she notices a man and a women laughing, walking in her direction along the sidewalk. On a sudden instinctual impulse, that she doesn’t quite understand, she finds herself leaping to the side and darting behind a tree. 

As Holtzmann turns her back towards the sidewalk, she feels a few spots of rain. Then, suddenly, the heavens seem to open and pour down on her.

Great, that’s all I need, the universe must really, actually hate me. 

The laughing is getting closer now and it draws Holtz’s attention. She peaks around the tree. There’s a man, in a suit, running along the pavement. The women next to him is wearing black pants and a subtle polka dot top, her heels clinking as she runs. Her light brown, wavy hair has become damp from the rain but the man is holding his suit jacket over her head for protection. It’s then that the women turns her face to the side to take in her surroundings and Holtzmann’s breath stops momentarily for what seems like the millionth time today.

It’s Erin Gilbert. Only, she doesn’t quite look like Erin Gilbert… her Erin Gilbert. Her hair is lighter and she has grown out her bangs. Gone is the slightly startled dear-in-the headlights wide-eyed facial expression or the trademark Erin Gilbert pout. It’s replaced with a wide grin and slightly flushed cheeks. Not the flustered kind Holtzmann used to generate from her persistent flirting but the soft… happy kind-

Erin Gilbert is happy. She’s doing a different job, in a new place… with her new… boyfriend? She’s happy. Holtz feels resentment at that and has to internally tell herself off. She has no right to be resentful towards Erin. Life has just moved on. Without her. The tears will definitely fall this time.

Holtz quickly turns her back to the scene and presses herself up against the tree, wrapping her arms around herself. She tries to make herself physically as small and inconsequential as she feels.

Goodbye, Erin Gilbert.

That’s when the sobs start. They aren’t the romantic-tear-softly-rolling-down-the-face kind that you often see in moves. These are the loud and strangled kind, the kind where your face screws up and contorts in a way that almost looks comical. 

She cries and cries and cries… at some point vaguely becoming aware that someone is watching her. She quickly shoots her head around.

Huh… maybe I have paranoia now too-

But that thought is stopped when she sees a completely soaking wet Erin, standing watching her. A slight frown forming between her eyes. Normally she would make some kind of flirty pun out of that but today is nowhere near a normal day. 

“Holtz, what are you-“ but before she can finish the sentence Holtz wraps herself around Erin and clings onto her like a baby kola bear. 

At first Erin just freezes, slightly startled but the she wraps her arms around Holtz too. Holding her, patiently waiting until she’s all cried out. 

Eventually, Holtz looks up but carries on clinging to Erin as if her life depends on it. Maybe it does.

“Erin, please… please don’t… please don’t…”

“Please don’t what, Holtz?”

“Please don’t leave me.”

“What are you talking about… why would I… we talk every day, Holtz… I wouldn’t-”  
“I’m sorry for ruining your date.”

“What date?”

“That guy, your boyfriend, you looked so happy together.”

“Boyfriend… no, Holtz, we’re just friends. We work together at the university. I don’t have a… I haven’t dated anyone since…” Erin trails off and her cheeks slightly flush despite the seriousness of the situation. “Come on, let’s get you inside before we both get sick.”

… and with that Erin silently takes hold of Holtzmann’s hand and leads her down the sidewalk. This time there’s no handy guy with a blazer to kept either one of them dry.


	2. Back at the ranch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and Holtz have a heart to heart and Erin's trying to take up a hygge lifestyle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has read, commented etc etc. I super duper appreciate it.

Thankfully, sooner rather than later, Holtz found herself standing outside a classically Southern blue wooden house with white detailing. It even had a porch with a chair swing on it, which they ran towards for shelter.

“Home sweet home,” Erin nervously chuckled as she unlocked the door.

“This place is massive, how much are they paying you, sweet cheeks?”

“Well, the building has been transformed into apartments so it’s only the downstairs area.”

“Still massive.”

“Well, Holtz… I certainly don’t miss the rent prices in New York. This place is half of what I paid for my apartment back there, which was basically a shoe box… remember when…”

Erin nervously trails off at the pained expression on Holtz’s face, at the mention of old times. Instead, she pushes open the door and they walk into the hallway, which leads into the living room. Holtz looks around in slight awe. There’s a couch with snuggly blankets… little candles on a wooden coffee table that also has flowers. The living room leads off into a rustic looking kitchen, which is separated with large twee doors. It all looks so quaint and Southern… nothing like how Erin’s apartment in New York looked. 

“You okay there, Holtz?”

“Yeeeeppp.”

“Okay… but you’re kinda frozen in the middle of the room with your mouth hanging open.”

Holtz quickly snaps her mouth shut, in an action that almost makes her look like a fish.

“It’s just… not very Erin Gilbert of you.”

“Well, I decided to embrace Southern life.”

“Eriiiiiin…”

“Hoooolllltzzz… I just think… well, that maybe we all wanted a bit of a change after everything that had happened-“ she cuts herself off again realising that this is probably too much of a sensitive topic.

“It’s funny how much can change in a year and a half,” Holtz adds dryly.

“Come over here and sit down. We can watch some TV. You’ll be happy to know I’m now the proud owner of the X-Flies box set,” Erin says trying to coax Holtz out of her slightly depressed mood.

Jillian reluctantly shuffles over to the sofa, wearing a facial express that resembles lost and forlorn, almost childlike. It sends a pang through Erin’s heart to see her like this. When she reaches the couch she just stands there, looking at the physicist. Erin pats the cushion next to her.

That’s when Holtz lets out of sigh and plunks down ungracefully next to Erin. She sits there looking stiff and awkward, like she’s not quite sure how humans are meant to sit of couches. At the same time her sofa companion gets up and starts up the box set… but, when she returns Holtz is still looking as awkward as before. 

“Holtz,” Erin says in a warning tone. 

Her shoulders instantly slump forwards and she wraps her head around her legs. Erin joins her on the sofa and pulls Jillian up against her so they’re snuggled together. She even wraps a blanket around the two for extra comfort, exclaiming that it’s something she read in a Hygge book. That leads to all sorts of teasing comments from Holtz. Without them even realising it, the tension in the room evaporates.

They go on like this all evening, having a binge watching marathon, stopping only briefly so they can order pizza. By 10 though, they’ve both started yawning from their very busy but very different days. Erin gets up and switches the TV off. 

“I guess I should go then,” Holtz starts to mumble.

“Go… go where?”

“I can find somewhere to stop, there’s a cheap motel around here somewhere, I think-“

“Holtz, I’m not letting you stop in some rat-invested motel,” Erin says indignantly, her trademark pout back that Holtz always seems to cause.

“Erin… it’s fine, you don’t need to take pity on me.”

“I’m not… I’ve missed you. Okay? It’s not the same without seeing your manic smile. It’s too quiet without all your poofs… and it’s too depressing without your carefree dancing,” Erin adds, now she’s the one mumbling, a blush creeping up her neck. 

“I’ve missed you too, Er-Bear… or at least I would if I could remember anything…”

“Come on, let’s get to bed.”

“Oh… Erin, it’s okay I’ll just sleep on the couch,” Holtz says, in an uncharacteristic quiet voice.

“I’d rather you’d sleep in the bed-“ Erin stops herself, her face turning bright red, as she realises what that sounds like.

“Trying to get me into bed hot stuff, you only need to ask,” Holtz purrs, adding in a wink for good measure.

“What… no… I just thought it would be practical. You probably shouldn’t wake up alone if you don’t remember anything.”

“At least one thing’s stayed the same, Er.”

“What’s that, Holtz?”

“I can still make you blush.”

With that, Holtz walks off into the bedroom, trailing her hand along Erin’s back as she goes. Erin lets out a small whimper that she tries to hide by turning it into a hasty cough. 

30 minutes later, bathroom routines completed, they’re lying in bed, facing each other. Holtz is wearing a pair of Erin’s pyjamas. A plaid shorts combo with tiny bows on the sleeves. She chuckled lightly when she saw that specific detail. 

“Erin-“

“Yes, Holtz?”

“What happened when I was… what did I miss?”

“Well, it took you a while to recover from your injury. You were in the hospital… for a while… you went back to the firehouse, for a while…”

Erin doesn’t particularly want to have this conversation, it’s still painful to think about but she knows it’s details that Holtz needs to hear right now. 

“Erin… was I… was I the reason the Ghostbusters split up?” Holtz asks in a tiny voice.

“No, of course not,” Erin responds, rushing to reassure her.

“Then why? I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I really.” Holtz gives her a look, willing her to continue. “About six months after your accident… all the ghosts sort of just disappeared. I still don’t know why. For a time I questioned if my parents were right after all and I was just crazy. Well, with no ghosts to bust we were over.”

“Only, with no proof anymore of their existence… well, everyone just sort of brought the mayor’s theory. The mass hallucination, the fact that we were frauds. We all needed jobs for money, and well, to keep our minds off things… but people weren’t exactly queuing up to hire a bunch of crazy people who thought that ghosts were real…”

Erin pauses here and takes in a deep shuddering breath.

“Then what happened?” Her voice is barely a whisper now. 

“We had to go wherever people would take us on. Abby got lucky with NYU… Patty met her fiancé and they moved off to Chicago. I ended up here. Funny really, how everything went full circle. I ended up back at square one, having to pretend I made the whole ghost thing up… having to hide that part of my past.”

“Abby doesn’t even want to speak to me anymore, Erin.”

“You’re not the only one,” Erin adds with a dry laugh. 

Holtz suddenly sits bolt upright, a quizzical expression on her face.

“What does that mean?”

“Just… well, a few months after I moved down her, I went back, to visit her. Only, she was always surrounded by this group of people, her new friends. You know how awkward I get around new people and big groups. I ended up blurting out stupid stuff and doing weird finger dancing. I kind of hoped I was being charming but her new friends didn’t seem to think so. I heard one of them whispering to her about me and they both were smirking.”

“That doesn’t sound like Abby.”

“No, it doesn’t. It was weird. I guess people change… you never think they will but then they do. I guess I deserved it, I mean isn’t that kind of what I did to her when I abandoned our book all those years ago?”

“Well… I happen to think your goofy finger dancing is utterly charming, Er-Bear.”

Erin breaks eye contact as a small smile spreads across her face. Holtz decides to add in a wink for good measure.

“Well Holtz-Bear…”

“Holtz-Bear?”

“I was trying to do your cute nickname thing but it didn’t really work.”

“No, it didn’t.” They both start laughing, causing Erin to face plant the pillow in her embarrassment. “Never change Erin, never change.”

“Come on, Holtz. You should really get some sleep and I definitely should. Classes don’t teach themselves… wouldn’t it be brilliant if they did though,” she muses as she switches off the lamp.

“Erin,” a tiny voice calls out in the dark.

“It’s okay, Holtz. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”


	3. Whipped cream blowtorches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtz has a mini meltdown and Erin tries to comfort her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd just mention this. I lived in Raleigh, NC for a while so that's why I wanted to set it there.

They were at an old warehouse, the ghost they had been called to bust was hovering over the scene. She had a menacing grin on her face and was wearing dark clothing. 

“Bet you can’t catch me,” she taunted.

She recognised the ghost from somewhere but couldn’t quiet place the face. It was at that moment that Erin sprinted into the room, her proton wand ready. (A literal wand because Holtz had just started reading the Harry Potter series.)

The ghost moved closer so that it was right up in Holtz’s face. It was then that Holtz realised who the woman was. She was one of foster carers Holtz had growing up. She was mean and Jillian had never liked her. 

“You don’t deserve anything. You should know that by now, Jillian.”

Holtz just stands there in shock. The ghost, however, springs to life and floats over towards Erin. In a blink of an eye, a spectral knife appears in her hand and she plunges it through Erin’s chest. Holtz lets out a blood curdling scream, desperately trying to reach Erin but her eyes are closing.

She blinks them open again… but she’s not in a warehouse… she’s in a bed? She quickly, desperately searches the room for Erin. She needs to get to Erin… to check she’s okay.

But of course she’s okay… that was just a dream.

Holtz reassures herself, as she takes in her surroundings. Where is she? That’s when she notices; there’s a mass of light brown hair sprawled across the bed next to her, face planted into the cushion, in an almost comical way.

Did I get so drunk last night, that I ended up going home with some girl and I don’t even remember it?

It wouldn’t be the first time this has happened. Holtz tried to think about the last thing she remembers… but it’s all fogy. There was a bust… she was hurt… her head hurt and now she’s here?

This makes no sense to her. Yeah, she was reckless sometimes, but she wouldn’t go out drinking after an accident. 

the body next to her begIn to stir. She needs to leave, before the woman wakes up. She might get all clingy and want to see her again or something. No. The only woman that Holtz wants to be with like that is Erin. 

“Erin!” Holtz exclaims in surprise, as the woman lifts her head off the pillow and squints her just woken up eyes to look at her.

“Are you running out on me, Holtz?” Erin says, almost giggling. 

“What? We slept together! I slept with thee Dr Erin Gilbert, particle physicist and bad ass ghostbuster and I don’t even remember it?”

Erin blushes and looks down at the covers. 

“We didn’t sleep together, Holtz.” She looks at her surroundings and corrects herself. “Well, we didn’t sleep together like that.”

“Well, that can certainly be corrected, hot stuff,” Holtz says with a smirk across her features. “Hey, when did you change your hair? It looks cute.”

Erin sighs, realising that she’s going to have to explain the accident and the last year and a half to the engineer but not fully knowing how. This was normally Abby’s job. 

“Look, Holtz. Why don’t you come back over here and sit down.”

Holtz obediently sits down, taking note of the slight frown that’s appeared on Erin’s pretty face.

“There was a bust, Holtz. You hit your head and now you have amnesia, you can only remember things, since the accident, for one day. Everything resets when you go to sleep.”

Holtz is quiet for a moment, searching Erin’s eyes for some kind of trick, half expecting her to start laughing at any moment.

“Where are we?”

“Oh, well, this is my home.” She pauses for a moment before adding “our home now, I guess.”

“No, you have this little pristine-looking apartment which is all white, Er-Bear.”

“Not anymore… Holtz, a year and a half has gone by.”

“So, what? We’re married and living in the suburbs somewhere and I don’t even remember it?”

Erin blushes and looks away. Then lets out a sigh.

“After the accident, you were in the hospital. We brought you back to the firehouse. Then, all of a sudden there were no ghosts anymore, so there were no more Ghostbusters. We all moved on with our lives. Patty went to Chicago and started her own business. Abby teaches at NYU and I teach here in North Carolina. You stayed in New York for a while… but yesterday, well, you came here.”

It’s a lot to take in all in one go but Holtz realises bitterly that, of course it’s probably not the first time she’s heard this story. 

“I have a class soon and I need to go and teach, I'm running the summer school… or maybe I should call in sick or something, I really don’t want to leave-“

“It’s okay, Er. I’ll be fine, really I will.” 

“Okay, well… I’ll make us breakfast and then… I guess I’ll be off.”

Holtz quietly sits on the sofa as Erin busies herself in the kitchen making them both waffles before joining her. They both eat in silence. It’s comfortable but awkward, both not sure what to say after Erin’s revelation.

Time moves on. Erin gets dressed, wearing a black pencil skirt and blue silk blouse.

“I’m heading out now, Holtz. There’s food in the fridge. Make yourself at home,” Erin calls from the hallway.

Now it’s just Holtz, alone, on the sofa. For a while she just sits there, not a 100% sure of what to do with herself. What does she do now? There’s no Ghostbusters, no equipment to build. Equipment. Engineering. That’s what she should do. That’s all she knows.

With that thought, she gets up off the sofa and heads into the kitchen, surveying the room. 

The appliances. I’ll check the appliances. I’m sure some of them could do with a Holtz-over.

She works through the space systematically. Checking each piece for any faults. The engineer finally settles on the toaster. The mechanism that pops the toast is too slow and it doesn’t heat up enough. 

She takes the toaster back to the living room and places it on the coffee table. 

Tools. I need tools.

She walks back into the kitchen searching all the draws. Eventually she finds a small toolkit and takes it back to the table. It’s nothing like her trusty toolbox that she’d lovingly named Betty but it’ll do. 

“I know, we’ll call you Veronica,” she says to the inanimate object. 

The engineer just glares at the object for a while, as if trying to suss it out. Then she takes her screwdriver and quickly gets to work. 

Five hours later, Holtz is sitting in the middle of the room surrounded by various broken parts of various different kitchen appliances. She can’t do it anymore. She can’t make things. She’s not a Ghostbuster. She’s not even an engineer. 

Tears well up in Jillian’s eyes. Her life’s work. Her purpose. It’s all gone. Curling in on herself, she lets the tears roll down her cheeks and the sobs escape from her throat. Crying. What she’s done every day for the past year and a half even if she doesn’t remember it. 

She stays there.

… and that’s how Erin finds her hours later. She immediately drops her purse and looks around the room startled.

“Holtz! What did you do to my living room. You can’t just-“ but she stops seeing Holtz curled up in a ball, crying.

Erin quickly runs over to her, wrapping her arms around her and rocking them both for comfort.

“Holtz, what happened?” Her voice is softer this time.

“I was trying to fix your kitchen appliances… but, I can’t do it anymore… I can’t do anything anymore,” Holtz chocks between sobs.

“It’s kind of like a side-effect of the amnesia. Some of the more difficult motor skills, like the engineering, you can’t do anymore,” Erin says, but as Holtz’s sobs grow louder she quickly adds, “but that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. There’s lots of stuff you can still do.”

“Erin… I… everything’s changed. I just want it all to go back to the way it was.”

She offers out her hand and helps Holtz to her feet, a plan forming in her mind. 

“Why don’t you go and lie on the bed, whilst I clean up. You can watch some X-Files, there’s a TV in the bedroom too.”

Erin passes her the box set and Holtz walks off into the bedroom, dragging her feet along the floor. 

The physicist makes quick work of the cleaning, it is after all one of her specialties. Whilst she’s putting everything away, she thinks over her plan, working out the finer details. If Holtz wants everything to go back to the way it was, then that’s what Erin will give her.

Once the tidying is done, she walks over to the large white door that opens up into a storage space. Various pictures of the Ghostbusters line the walls. She glances at her favourite one. Holtz has her arms wrapped around Abby and Erin, she is kissing the latter on the cheek. Her eyes flit across the two proton packs on the floor before moving up to the clothing rail. She searches the garments quickly until she removes what she’s looking for. A skirt suit, a blouse with a tiny bow tie and a pair of heels – A.K.A the outfit she was wearing when they first met. She takes the items into her bathroom to change into. 

Once she’s dressed she assesses her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Frowning slightly, she tries to work out what’s different. It suddenly clicks. Removing a pair of scissors from the bathroom cabinet, she sections the front of her hair and cuts her bangs back in. Then adds a little clip so her hair is half up and half down. She appraises her reflection… not exactly the same but it’ll do.

The physicist quickly tidies the mess she’s made before heading back to the living room. Phase one complete, now for phase two.

She finds a table from the porch and drags it inside, scattering tools all over the surface. Picks up a can of cream for a substitute blowtorch, before heading back to the store cupboard to pick up a few extras.

When she’s done, Erin looks anxiously around the room. What was she thinking? This isn’t even a half way decent imitation of the old lab. Oh well, she might as well go through with her plan now anyway.

“Holtz, could you come out here for a second, please?”

“Sure thing, hot stuff-“ Holtz trails off as she sees Erin standing in the middle of the room nervously fiddling with her hands. “Come here often?”

Erin lets out a little giggle and blush, happy the engineer has caught on and wants to play along. 

“And tell me ma’am, where did you find the world’s tiniest bow tie?”

“It came with the shirt.”

Erin attempts some of her trademark finger dancing.

“Oh, are we dancing?” Holtz asks with a smirk.

“I’m pretty sure that’s my line, Holtz,” Erin replies smiling.

“Too bad, I stole it,” Holtz adds poking her tongue out. 

“You know what? We should dance. I don’t think we’ve ever actually danced properly together.”

With that Erin pulls Holtz towards her. They spend the rest of the evening busting moves. It’s not beautiful romantic dancing, it’s nerdy and awkward, but it perfectly resembles them. 

Eventually, they end up sprawled on the sofa, laughing so hard that Holtz ends up pinching her nose and Erin is whipping tears from her eyes. 

 

The next morning Holtz jolts awake after reliving the accident, just like she had done the day she’d first found Erin. The physicist once again comforts her and explains the events of the last year and a half.

“… so you just left me?”

“What… Holtz? I don’t understand-“

“You just left me all alone in New York to come here and teach.”

“I… I…” Erin trails off, she doesn’t know quite what to say. “I had to, Holtz. I needed a job and Abby promised me she’d look after you.”

“She didn’t though, did she,” Holtz adds bitterly.

“Why don’t we focus on the present, Holtz. It’s my day off today. Let’s do something fun. Oh, I know! I’m going to take you on a food tour of Raleigh. There’s so many good places to eat here,” Erin excitedly exclaims.

Erin’s excitement is contagious and soon Holtz is feeling much more cheerful, as they head out the front door to do some exploring.


	4. Kisses & Biscuits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and Holtz eat lots of food. Also, thinks start to heat up on the Holtzbert side of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that this took so long to update. I'm like creating a comedy sketch show and three different short films at the moment. My YouTube channel is: https://www.youtube.com/c/ohduckysketchshow - I'm totally gonna do a Holtzbert sketch soon ;)

 

Holtz and Erin are standing in line at Rise in Cameron Village. Holtz is jumping from foot to foot, as they wait in a long line of people. 

"Eriiiiin, I'm bored," Holtz whines.

"We're nearly there now. This is worth it, Holtz. They have the best biscuits... and … and they do these strawberry shortcake things... and the donuts. The donuts, Holtz! You know how much I love donuts, don't take the donuts away from me!" 

"What happens if a giant robot comes and destroys all the donuts?" 

"Then I will fight the robot because that's a crime against nature." 

"What happens if you had to choose between me and a donut? Do-nut go breaking my heart, Er-bear." 

"I donut know, Holtz. Try saying no to these gooey, yummy treats."

"Well, sprinkle me crazy, did you just trade me in for a sugary treat?" 

"You're still my bro-nut... girl-nut, nope that doesn't have the same ring to it-" 

"Afternoon, ma'am. How can I help you?"

"Two plain biscuits please, a strawberry shortcake biscuit and two sprinkle donuts." 

The guy behind the counter tells them to stand in the waiting area. Holtz looks up at the wall, noticing the cute little sign. Donuts + Biscuits = Love. It makes a smile spread across her face.

"Hey, Erin. I'll be the biscuit to your donut," she says with a wink. 

Erin’s features distort into a confused expression, for a moment, so Holtz points up at the sign. As soon as the physicist sees it, a furious blush spreads across her face. She looks away and rushes off to grab their food. 

Once the pair are outside, Erin leads them over to a bench. It's secluded and there are barely any people walking around outside. Erin hands Jillian her share of the food before digging into her donut. Holtz lets out a low-giggle as frosting starts to appear all over her face. 

"You've got a little," Holtz purrs, gesturing to Erin's face. 

She goes to reach into her purse to claim her small pocket mirror so she can assess the damage. Before she has chance to, a small hand reaches out and covers the clasp to her purse. Erin looks up at the engineer with a quizzical expression. Instead of responding, Jillian softly runs her hand along Erin’s jaw, causing goosebumps to emerge on the physicists skin and a light buzzing sensation. Erin's eyes flutter closed, instantly, as Holtz's fingers now move to trace Erin's lips.

_This is it. She's going to kiss me. God, this is everything I've been dreaming about for the last year and a half -_ Erin thinks to herself.

"Good to know I'm the lady of your dreams, Er-Bear," Holtz teases.

Erin’s eyes fly open as she realizes she must have said that thought out loud. Why does she have to have such an awful brain-to-mouth filter. 

_This is like Kevin all over again. Only worse, because I'm not just physically attracted to Holtz. It's much more than that._

"Mmm... I didn't mean... I just meant... because you'd lost your memory. Yep, that's it! I was worried about my  _friend."_

"Smooth, Gilbert. I've no idea why you're amazing seduction techniques didn't work on Kevin."

Erin starts to panic again, wondering if she'd also spoken her last thought out loud too. But, no, she's pretty sure she didn't. It must just be a strange coincidence, or they've become scarily in-tune with each other.

"How to do know my amazing seduction techniques didn't work on Kevin?"

"So you admit you were trying to seduce me, hot stuff?"

"Holtz!" 

"What? It was just a question."

"Seriously though, what makes you think Kevin was so way out of my league?"

"Kevin's not out of your league, you're way higher than he is. You're so perfect you're off-the-chart," Holtz replies in a tiny voice.

Erin lets out a nervous giggle and her cheeks color pink once more. She reaches over and brushes a stray stand of Holtz's hair behind her ear. 

"I'm not perfect, Holtz. I'm an awkward, uptight professor that has a tendency to punch people in the face."

"You're so amazing, Erin... and you don't even realize it," Hotlz's reply is slightly stilted.

Erin stares down at her hands for a few moments, lost for words. She's never been a hundred per cent comfortable with people complimenting her. She wants to say something equally as beautiful back to Holtz but she just can't seem to form the words.

"Come on, we should start heading back," she says instead.

"But, what about this food tour you promised me, hot stuff?"

Erin doesn't reply, she just starts walking back over to her car, so they can drive back. 

Silence.

The drive back to Erin's place is filled with an awkward deafening silence. As they're pulling up into a parking space, she turns the keys in the ignition and spins to face Holtz. The corners of her mouth have turned down and she looks oddly small and forlorn sitting there. Erin, knowing she's been the cause of this, wants- No, she needs to do something to make it better.

"You're the perfect one, Holtz," she whispers into the empty space.

The words catch into the air and so does Jillian's breath as she turns to face Erin. It's like there's a magnetic force pulling them closer, as if the very universe wants them to be together. Is willing it to happen. Now, they're only a breath part, so close that their lips are almost grazing each other’s. Erin lifts a hand to gently caress Jillian's cheek.

_Beep._

They jump apart at the suddenly, loud noise, coming from a car hurtling past them on the road.

"Way to go and ruin a moment," Holtz mumbles under her breath.

"Fuck the moment! I've wanted to do this for too long."

... and Erin lungs forwards, capturing Jillian's lips with her own. It's a passionate kiss but soft at the same time. Not too slow, not too fast. Perfect. The kiss is perfect. A warm sensation fills Erin, from the inside radiating outwards at this realization. It's like her whole body is on fire and she wants every inch of Holtz with every ounce of her being... then again, they are in a public place.

Erin quickly pulls away, blushing at her own thoughts.

"What, Erin? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, that was perfect. I was just... well, I was having some rather not-PG thoughts," she adds in a mock awkward voice.

Holtz just winks and laughs. They both exit the car at the same time.

\---

Later that evening, they're both curled up together, wrapped in Erin's many fluffy blankets, watching TV.

"Hey, Er-Bear, how are all your blankets so fluffy?"

"That's my special secret, Holtz."

"I don't want to be your Special Secret Holtz, I want to be your Very Special Completely Not-Secret Holtz."

Erin giggles at how she twisted her words.

"I know this is probably way, way too soon... no, just forget I said anything... terrible idea."

"Erin?"

"Yes, Holtz."

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

Erin literally leaps into the air, turns to face Holtz and practically tries to suck her face off with an alarmingly forceful kiss.

"I take that as a yes then?"

"Most defiantly a yes.”


	5. The Gone Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the night before... and the main plot begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that I've turned into a person who is always apologizing for not updating regularly. My life is just so busy and I have a million and one things to do... but I love Holtzbert... so...

Erin wakes up, the next morning, to feel a light tapping sensation on her nose. Almost as a reflex, she scrunches her nose up, in an attempt to get the tapping to stop.

“Morning, Sleepy Head!” – a voice sings into her ear. 

Wait… a voice. Erin’s eyes snap open. The kind-of-date, the kiss… Holtz singing to her to wake her up. Holtz remembers! 

Wait!? How is that even medically possible? Maybe true love’s kiss does really work.

But, Erin just can’t bring herself to care. All that matters is that Jillian Holtzmann is her girlfriend. She tries her best to hold in the giggle willing itself to escape, but it doesn’t quiet work.

“Aw, aren’t you the cutest little chipmunk.”

“What! Holtz, I’m nothing like a chipmunk!”

“Relax, Cinnamon Cupcake, it was a compliment.”

“You could have gone with elegant swan or something.”

“How about an adorable snail… because you’re shell-ply amazing.”

“Holtz!”

“What snails are cute.”

“Never use a snail to describe me again.”

“How ‘bout a worm?”

“Holtz!”

“What? Worms are worm-derful”

“Nothing slimly.”

“Erin?”

“What?”

“I… I can’t remember anything. Why am I in your bed?”

Erin’s heart immediately plummets. Of course Holtz doesn’t actually remember. Who is she kidding, this is real life not a movie aimed at children. Although, she could have sworn for a second there… when she first woke up, that Holtz did remember… even just for a second. It was different from all the other mornings, like things were back to how they used to be. Not that it makes any difference, though. So, Erin starts her normal morning explanation-

“So, what? I just live here now, do I?”

“Yep, pretty much,” Erin replies with a shrug.

“Right,” Holtz bites back.

“What?”

“Well, I can’t just stay here forever can I… living in your house… sleeping in your bed. It’s not like you’re my girlfriend, is it.”

It’s not a question, it’s a statement. A statement that makes tears pool in the corners of Erin’s eyes.

“Hotlz – “

“No, Erin. I’m going to go – “

“Go where – “

“I don’t know, okay. Back to New York, I guess.”

“Holtz, please – “

But, before Erin can finish her sentence, Holtz has jumped up and ran out of the door, still wearing her pyjamas. The physicist has the vague thought that she should run after her but she just can’t bring herself to… because this has happened before.

As much as she had tried to forget all about it, that wasn’t the first time they’d kissed. It had happened the week before Erin had moved to North Carolina. In fact that’s the real reason why she had moved. She would have never have just left Holtz without a good reason too. 

Just like I left Abby the first time. That’s all I do, isn’t it? I just leave when things get difficult, instead of fighting. Maybe that’s just who I am… maybe that’s all I’m good at?

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzz 

The noise almost has Erin jumping into the air. She looks down at her phone. It’s a number she doesn’t have saved.

“Erin.”

“Abby – “

“There’s been a call.”

“A call, I don’t understand,” she asks helplessly.

“We have a ghost,” Abby replies, a note of irritation creeping into her voice.

“A ghost?”

“Yes, Erin. There was one at the end of your bed for a year. One of those.”

“Abby, there’s no need to be – “

“I’m going to email you over the address. You can meet Patty and me there. It’s a small abandoned amusement park in Ohio. I think we should go. There’s a person looking to buy the land and they’re willing to pay us a lot of money.”

“Okay, I’ll see you there then. Oh, I’ll… I’ll make sure Holtz is there too.”

“Erin, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Abby, she’s one of the team. She belongs with us.”

“It won’t be safe for her – “

“Abby!”

“Fine, if she wants to come, then she can.”

“Okay, see you soon, Abby.”

“See you soon, Erin.”

Right, okay… now she just needs to find Holtz. Grabbing her jacket and throwing it on she sprints out of her house. Time is of the upmost importance, Holtz could be on a train back to New York whilst she’s dawdling. 

Turns out, she shouldn’t have been worried at all. There, sitting on her swinging chair, outside her house, is an extremely miserable looking Holtz.

“Well, you didn’t get very far,” Erin states as she sits down next to her and gentally starts to swing the pair.

“No… I was going to… but then I ‘remembered’ I had nowhere else to go and I checked my bank account. Turns out I have no money either. So, I guess I’m stuck with you.”

“Wow, Holtz, I feel so flattered,” Erin whispers, the hurt creeping into her voice.

“No, Erin. I didn’t mean that. I don’t… I don’t…”

She cuts herself off, shuffling along the chair to curl her body around Erin, who instantly wraps her arms around her in return.

“Hey, It’s okay. I know.”

“… I don’t want to be anywhere without you, Erin.”

The physicist merely kisses the top of the head in reply. They sit like that for a while, in silence. Neither of them feel the need to break it, until Erin finally remembers why she came to find Holtz in the first place.

“Holtz.”

“Yeppp-er-roo.”

“There’s a ghost.”

“What! Here. Don’t worry, Erin, I’ll fight it,” Holtz yells, leaping to her feet.

“No, silly. In Ohio. We have a mission.”

“… but, I thought you said ghosts don’t exist anymore?”

“They don’t.”

“Then… that’s interesting isn’t it.”

“Yes, it most certainly is.”

“I feel like we suddenly sound like people out of a mystery novel,” Holtz giggles.

Erin shakes her head, trying to resist the urge to lean over and kiss that stupid grin off her face. She can’t though… because Holtz has no idea that they’ve together. In her mind, they’re just friends. Of course, she could just tell her what happened. Somehow though, that just seems wrong. She knows if someone just announced she was dating them, but she didn’t remember it, she’d probably faint or something. It would be a selfish thing to do. Nope, she just needs to suppress her feelings. It’s for the best.

“Hey, Erin.”

“Mmmm…”

“You, just zoned out back there.”

“Oh, right… let’s get the equipment and go.”

“Equipment?”

“Oh, I kept some of our old stuff, you know.”

“Aw, you kept my inventions, Er-Bear. That’s so cute.”

“Shut-up, Holtz.”


	6. Give me back my Scully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little weird, Holtz just wants her Scully back.

Erin drives and Holtz sits silently in the seat next to her, staring out of the window. A thin line creases her brow.

  
“Hey, Erin? Mind if we make a detour? There’s some things I want to pick up from my apartment.”

  
“Sure, of course,” Erin replies absent minded.

  
“Mmkay… you sure, it’s gonna add a-lota extra hours onto the journey?”

  
“I’d do anything for you, Holtz, you beautiful marvellous cupcake.”

  
“Er-Bear?”

  
“Nothing.”

  
“What?”

  
“That just sounded an awful lot like something I’d say.”

  
“Mmm…” The physicist quickly glances over at Holtz and smiles at her, “I guess some of your charm is rubbing off on me.”

Holtz goes back to staring out of the window. It’s all so strange. It’s not even a full 2 years later and so much has changed, everyone she once knew has changed. Then again, she thinks back to how quickly the Ghostbusters first formed and thinks maybe it’s not so odd after all. Life has a funny way of constantly moving, and if you stumble, it’s easy to get knocked out of the race.

\---

It’s almost 10:00p when they finally pull up outside of Holtz’ apartment. They pretty much drove none stop there, wanting to reach it before Holtz’ memory would reset and she wouldn’t even know why she was there to begin with.

  
The crazy scientist tells Erin to sit on the couch, whist she goes to pack up some clothing from her room. She’ll pack it up now, ready for them to take in the morning, both resting overnight at her apartment.

  
It’s strange being back here, it’s like nothing has even changed but of course everything has changed now. She forces that thought out of her mind. She doesn’t like to deal with her feelings on the best of days and this is not the best of days.

  
“You okay in there, Holtz?”

  
“I’m okay-a-roo, I’ll be out in a flash of a cat’s behind.”

  
Pulling open one of her cupboards, she begins to load bits and pieces into a bag. There’s something brown though, it’s annoying because it’s caught on one of the legs of her pants and it’s stopping her from getting them into the bag. She gives them a firm tug and the brown thing goes crashing to the floor, splaying bits of paper everywhere. It’s a notebook. She bends down to pick up the pages, imagining Erin would blow a fuse if she saw the mess.

EVERYTHING IS NOT AS IT SEEMS

That’s odd, she thinks. Why would she write that? It’s definitely her handwriting. She shrugs her shoulders. Maybe it’s just a song lyric or something? She moves to pick the next page up.

THIS ISN’T REAL

Real? What’s not real? Now she’s frowning. Her writing looks a little bit erratic, like she made these all in a rush. Maybe she had a psychotic break after the accident or something… _I mean, I know my brain doesn’t function like most people’s but this seems a bit odd even for me._

YOU’RE NOT REALLY HERE

Now there’s a sense of dread creeping in, that one sounds a little spooky and not the good kinda X-Flies spooky but the full-on horror movie style creepy and despite popular belief Holtz had never been too keen on those.

  
She scrambles through the almost empty cupboard looking for that one scrap of evidence that would explain all this away. The comforting rational explanation to put her mind at ease. Her hand falls on something solid. She pulls it out. It’s a video camera, the very same one they used at the Aldridge Mansion. A smile appears on the quirky engineers’ face, as she thinks of Erin and her tiny bow ties. Yes, watching this will ease her mind.

  
She swivels the screen and hits play but it’s not Erin’s face that appears on screen, it’s her own, and she’s listening to herself talk to herself. Holtz has a moment to laugh at the irony of that.

_“Hello, future, Holtz. Holtz from the future. Congrats, you’ve just discovered the existence of aliens. I’m just kidding, we’ll leave that one to Mulder. It’s his baby. I’m here to deliver a message. Whatever is happening right now, whatever everyone is telling you, it’s a lie. There’s nothing wrong with your memory. A year and a half hasn’t gone by, you’re still at that bust with everyone else. Nothing here is real…”_

The screen begins to crackle and the Holtz on screen disappears. The real Holtz… or is she real? lowers the video camera very slowly, before walking out of the room to join Erin… or not-Erin... whoever she is… a manic grin plastered into place.

  
“Hello, Er-Bear. I’ve got some exciting news. You’re not real, none of this is real,” her voice comes out silted, the words becoming strangled in her throat.

  
“What are you talking about, Holtz? Of course, I’m real,” Erin looks as though she’s trying hard not to laugh.

  
“No… think about it, Erin. That might be the only explanation that does make sense. Ghosts… all of them just disappearing? That on its own just sounds a little too convenient. The way we didn’t hit any traffic on the way over here. Then there’s all of you. Abby, Patty… you, Erin… you all seem a little off. I know a lot can change in a year and a half… but still… you’re my girlfriend… I remember… there’s nothing wrong with my mind…”

  
The smile slowly starts to fade off Erin’s face as the realisation hits her. No, Erin starts to slowly fade. She’s literally disappearing before her eyes. Fake Erin or not, she doesn’t want that to happen. She reaches out, trying to grab her, wanting her to stay.

Poof.

She’s gone.

Holtz is alone in the room, not knowing what to do. She’s running, out of her apartment, then out onto the New York City street. Nothing. Everything is eerily quiet. There’re no signs of life whatsoever. Everything is silent, just static cars. She dully thinks that this reminds her of that X-Flies episode when Mulder makes a wish with that genie. Part of her wants to run around screaming Erin’s name because she wants her Scully back.

\----

Meanwhile, a universe away, inside a room, in an abandoned warehouse, there are four bodies swimming in a sea of ectoplasm. A large pool of red forming around a halo of blonde curls. All four bodies seem to be soundly asleep. Peaceful. Completely unaware of how horrific their situation could be if someone doesn’t come to their aid soon.

  
In the middle of the ectoplasm, a large head appears, surrounded in a neon blue glow. The lips are curled into a smile, as the ghost begins to laugh at his victim’s current predicament.

“Soon, I’ll have drained all their energy,” he cackles into the void. “Then, I’ll finally be human once more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got no idea what's coming next. Your guess is as good as mine.

**Author's Note:**

> There's going to be a lot of angst in this story but there's also going to be fun times... and romancing... and a somewhat happy ending.


End file.
